Wednesday, March 30, 2011
|I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk.|
EASILY THE FUNNIEST TELEVISION SHOW SINCE THE ORIGINAL BRITISH VERSION OF THE OFFICE. YOU KNOW IT'S GOOD WHEN YOU LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF THE THIRD TIME AROUND. WATCH THIS BEFORE YOU DIE.
Posted by The Rapid Reviewer at 9:46 AM
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
|We're here for the gang bang.|
AS TECHNOLOGY IMPROVES, THE LINE BETWEEN VIDEO GAMES AND MOVIES IS BECOMING BLURRY. THAT IS NOT ALWAYS A BAD THING. VIDEO GAMES MAKE UP THEIR OWN RULES, AND SO DOES SUCKER PUNCH. IF YOU DON'T LIKE SEXY WOMEN, SLOW MOTION ACTION, AND MOVIES THAT MAKE YOU THINK, THEN WATCH THE KING'S SPEECH AND STOP BITCHING ABOUT ZACH SNYDER.
Posted by The Rapid Reviewer at 6:10 PM
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
DEAD MAN WALKING WILL TAKE YOU ON AN EMOTIONAL RIDE THAT WILL FLIP YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM ON ITS ASS. ALSO, IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN MILK, 21 GRAMS, MYSTIC RIVER, OR CARLITO'S WAY, IT WILL CONVINCE YOU THAT SEAN PENN IS THE GREATEST ACTOR OF HIS GENERATION.
Posted by The Rapid Reviewer at 8:42 AM
Monday, March 21, 2011
|Comic-Con holds a special screening for a Natalie Portman nipple-slip.|
IF YOU HAVE EVER SEEN A MIDNIGHT SHOWING OF AN LOTR MOVIE OR CAN RECOGNIZE THE CANTINA MUSIC FROM MOS EISLEY IN THE FIRST FEW BARS, THIS MOVIE IS FOR YOU. IF YOU DON'T FIT INTO THAT CATEGORY, THEN YOU CAN SUCK IT.
Posted by The Rapid Reviewer at 8:26 PM
Friday, March 18, 2011
|Why the hell is Nic Cage in this? And what's with the John Holmes mustache?!|
I HAD FORGOTTEN JUST HOW DARK THIS MOVIE REALLY IS, AND THAT IS WHAT SAVES IT FROM BEING AN ALL-TOO-EASY FANBOY JERKFEST. THE ACTION SEQUENCES ALONE ARE WORTH WATCHING A FEW TIMES OVER. ALSO, THE MOVIE
SHOULD HAVE BEEN CALLED HIT-GIRL.
Posted by The Rapid Reviewer at 2:07 PM
Thursday, March 17, 2011
|Just released press photo of Cowboy Bebop 2: Trannyspotter|
THIS MOVIE IS JUST TOO COOL. I DON'T USUALLY GO FOR THE ANIME FARE, BUT THE NOIRISH FEEL, HUMOR, AND BADASS ACTION SEQUENCES
OF BEBOP TURN ME INTO A MANGA NERD
EVERY TIME I WATCH IT.
Posted by The Rapid Reviewer at 8:57 AM
Monday, March 14, 2011
|It's not that I thought God would be white, but holy sh-t he's purple.|
THIS IS A FILM THAT PEOPLE WILL EITHER IDENTIFY WITH ON A DEEP LEVEL OR PICK APART FOR ITS SUPERFICIAL INCONTINUITIES. IF YOU HAVE EVER DECIDED TO CHANGE COURSE AT A CROSSROADS IN YOUR LIFE, THIS MOVIE WILL SPEAK TO YOU.
Posted by The Rapid Reviewer at 9:56 AM
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
|The numbers don't lie, Steve. Every time somebody laughs at Larry the Cable Guy, a baby dies.|
ALTHOUGH I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT FINDING THE ANSWERS TO THE GREAT QUESTIONS IS A LIFELONG PURSUIT THAT CAN'T BE CIRCUMVENTED THROUGH NUMBER CRUNCHING, THIS MOVIE IS A GREAT STUDY IN CAUSE AND EFFECT THAT WILL HAVE YOU SCRATCHING YOUR HEAD FOR DAYS AFTERWARD.
Posted by The Rapid Reviewer at 10:12 AM